Want a mentor? Don’t ask for one

Imagine someone walking up to you and saying, “I would like you to trust me.” Sounds weird, right?

Asking someone to be your friend isn’t as strange, but it also rarely works out. That’s because one-on-one relationships are best earned naturally. And mentorship is one of them.

So what do you do when you admire someone and hope they’ll become your mentor? You engage with their work. Show genuine interest. Then reach out with appreciation, and maybe share something you're working on, asking for their thoughts.

When they respond, you take the feedback seriously, return with updates, and repeat the cycle. Over time, they notice your consistency. They may even begin to check in, offer guidance, and invest in your growth.

Asking outright to be mentored can feel like assigning them a job. It’s a new layer of pressure—something they already have enough of.

But behaving like a mentee? That almost always works. It’s lower pressure, more natural, and it grows one step at a time.