Don’t trust yourself either

We are often told not to place too much value on what others think of us. “They don’t really know you,” we’re reminded. The idea is that only you can say what’s true about you.

But we don’t talk enough about the accuracy of that self-assessment.

Yes, people misjudge us—through the lens of their own bias, preconceptions, and history. But that’s also true about us. We misjudge ourselves too. We shape our memories to fit whatever narrative we’re currently clinging to. We inflate our good intentions and shrink our faults.

People lie to us, intentionally and unintentionally. But we do this same to ourselves too.

For me, what I try to do with this awareness is sit with myself a little longer, to peel back the layers of ego, pride, insecurity, and desire until I reach something closer to the truth—about past roles in fights, failed relationships, bad deals, and failed goals. Not to beat myself up, but so I can do better today and tomorrow. Not to rehearse what’s comfortable, but to confront what’s real.

Others will exaggerate our flaws, but we also tend to understate them. Sometimes the truth lives in the tension between both views.

So yes, stay guarded from bad energy. But don’t forget—some of that energy might be coming from within.