Choose your suffering

In our lifelong pursuit of happiness, we often imagine a time when pain will finally end. Our hard, cruel work will have paid off. Or a miracle will sweep it all away, right now!

But the older, ‘successful’ ones report a pattern: you get to that future, the past suffering fades, but then it’s not as perfect as imagined. New obstacles emerge.

Perhaps, depending on how we choose to name things, we will always suffer. And there is no waiting for a period of utopian joy. At least, not here in this form. Perhaps it’s easier when we accept that we are on a journey of facing obstacles, while also realizing our capacity to choose the obstacles to face, or at least how we respond to those handed to us.

If suffering won’t go away, perhaps we can take a careful look at its menu and select the items we’re more willing to sit with. Maybe we can choose with intention, considering the ones where our toil will be most worth it.

Maybe we will choose the ones that give us some fulfillment in return. Will those be the ones most likely to generate more results for more people over time? Or the ones that align the most with our philosophy of life? These might be the questions.

Maybe we will stop wishing suffering away and start choosing which shade per time, knowing why, not wondering why.