When we stop assuming

Sometime ago, my team announced something and someone made an independent tweet that looked like a jab aimed at us. Team members expressed disappointment internally because this person was relatively close to the team. I was thrown off too. I almost concluded the respect wasn’t mutual, when I remembered the 3rd of ‘The Four Agreements’: Don’t Make Assumptions.

So I sent a DM asking if it was about us. They responded with a long message saying it had nothing to do with us, and they hadn’t even seen our post yet. They were grateful I checked. I was relieved I did.

As the book’s author Don Miguel Ruiz puts it, many times “we make a lot of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions.”

Someone might say: “what if they lie?” There are still only three outcomes: it’s not about us (now we know), they lie (we stop bothering), or they confirm it (now we know where things stand). Whatever the outcome, asking is closer to the truth than connecting a story in our heads.